So, how good IS good?

Well, it's been a while, hasn't it. Joe missed you. Joe was in the middle of a. . .dare Joe say it? YES! . . .a FIRESTORM of controversy involving a couple of elements.

First was the mini-merger (thank you fans!). Second was the evil witch associate trying to do the runaround on Joe (she'll never work in this town again, Wah Hah Hah!). Third was the suckbag Partner who, as it turns out, will never get placed by anyone ever, because he sucks. You don't want Joe to call you? You got it, pal. And neither will anyone else, neither! Pray that this job is the only one you ever want, and, or need, 'cause you are DONE.

It's all better now, but Joe's butt definitely shows scars, and not the cute kind, like when you have a li'l scar above your chin from where you wiped out on your bike when you were six. NO. These are claw-mark, hack-saw type scars, battle scars. Brutal. In fact, Joe feels manly when someone sees his butt scars. Junior Partner LOVES 'em. But that's a whole 'nother story for a whole 'nother day.

Back to the topic at hand: how good IS good? You may recall that we were about to address that question when we were rudely interrupted by news of Chicago passing a "No Foie Gras" ordinance. See the previous post.

Here's the thing about good. You can have any opinion of yourself that you want to have, but it doesn't really matter what YOU think. . .it matters what JOE thinks. Because Joe (and other, less stylish, less, you know, Top Drawer, as it were) recruiters, are the opinion-makers when it comes to making someone hireable, no matter how good you are in court, and no matter how many "Litigator of the Millenium" awards you have.

Some of the best Lawyers in the Country are flat jerks, and couldn't get another job if they were the last (Fill In Here) Lawyer in the world.

While we're at it, when a recruiter calls to ask if you're interested in perhaps looking at another opportunity, it doesn't mean we're criticising your current place of employment.

It's also not the time to get defensive with me about your current crib. . .I don't CARE about the long and storied history of your firm, or about how the founder of the firm started as the third sweeper-upper, toiling late into the night back in the days of yore in Eighteen Hundred and Long Ago.

I'm just ASKING if you're amenable to finding OUT about a job that seems to fit YOUR skills, background, and knowledge, experience, and, perhaps, temperament (AKA KSA). If you are, GREAT. If not, please just say so.

And please don't lecture me on the "culture of the firm." You don't know ANYTHING about the culture of a firm you're not a part of. . .you probably don't even know anything about the culture of the firm you ARE a part of. How do I know? Decades of experience with firm cultures that are nothing at all like they're described by the people living in them, and even less like the people NOT living in them. If law firms, and/or the people in them, knew their own cultures, there would never be an unhappy lawyer anywhere, ever, and we all KNOW that's not the case. So please, dispense with the lecturing about "firm culture." Find another term you don't understand to drivel on about, please.

In the end, you are as good as Joe's ability to sell you as good is. In the meantime, a great reputation as a (fill in here) lawyer may be swell, but it doesn't necessarily get you hired. And holding yourself out as some kind of untouchable because you think you're some kind of wunderkind will probably cost you in the long run. Because, even though Joe won't say anything, eventually your attitude will get around the community (not everybody keeps their mouth shut like Joe does), and, Genius Lawyer or not, nobody likes a jerk, even a gifted jerk.

Time to go. . .Joe has to find a really good gift for Junior Partner. . .and make reservations for our fave restaurant in New York City. . .sometimes, being a jerk has its costs.

Love Your Recruiter!

JoeRecruiter.