Joe hears it all the time? Hey, Joe. . .you got gum?. . .I mean, hey Joe, what do clients want? Clients want what Joe wants, and Joe wants what Clients want. We've been over this before. But, as usual, you were doing so SO well, and then things went to hell in a Laundry Basket.
Whether a partner or an associate, if you're going to bother to call, be prepared to tell me what you earn, your hourly rate, your portable book value, and what you billed last year, and your average for the last five years. Within the first three or so minutes. Before I tell you the name of the client. Don't argue with me about it, because I'm not going to tell you. Even if I wanted to, I can't. And don't think you're hurting me or my chances by not disclosing, either. You wouldn't have called if you weren't interested, and if YOU called, what makes you think others haven't?
The truth is, about 12% (remember that figure from our earlier lesson?) of ALL attorneys move around on an annual basis, so they're calling, and a LOT of them are calling Joe, so if you're an uppity type lawyer, don't even bother to call me. I'd just as soon you stay with your current firm and make THEM miserable.
Joe would prefer to work with smart, happy lawyers who know their capabilities, and their abilities, and know they're dealing with a professional who isn't going to blab their information all around town. If you're so insecure you can't tell me what I need to know, just don't bother to call me. By the way, Joe probably makes more than you do, so don't think you're likely to shock me (hint: Joe's BASE is higher than the highest salary paid to the highest associate level of the highest paying BigLaw firm in the country, plus, Joe gets a very generous commission, AND bonuses). Hey, water finds its own level.
And, yes, Joe is a snob. He prefers to work with the best attorneys and law firms in the country. So far, so good. You don't wanna play in our sandbox, that's fine too. Stay second class. . .the world needs you too. . .just don't call a boy, and we won't bother you neither.
What brought on this fit of pique? Oh, some ditz of a lawyer told me that s/he was "not at the applicant level anymore. . .I've been practicing law too long to be treated like a newbie, if you understand my meaning." Sure, Joe understands. But Joe deals with MPs and heads of Litigation and Corporate Law, and other departments all day long, and really only answers to those people and Exec Committees, and that level of person, but I STILL come down to the lower levels and mingle with associates and partners and lower mortals because that's what pays the rent, and I very politely ask y'all if you'd like to check out another opportunity, so, your highness, if I may be so bold, I don't think it's completely out of line to expect you to answer MY bloody questions, because, until you're OFFERED the bloody job, you ARE a bloody applicant, no matter WHAT you call yourself, or how HIGH your opinion of yourself (even rainmakers receive paychecks, your majesty. . .).
So when a boy calls and leaves a message, return it, be polite, answer the freakin' questions, and don't be so uppity. Because there may come a time when you need a recruiter/headhunter/ghoul/whatever you call us these days, and, at least in Joe's case, we have VERY long memories, and VERY short tempers.
LOVE your Recruiter!!
JoeRecruiter
Friday, May 26, 2006
Monday, May 08, 2006
The Perils of Partner Management
Joe has missed you Awful! Where to begin? So MUCH to tell you!! Joe has been ON ASSIGNMENT. Can you say "On Assignment!? Joe knows. And YES, Joe can say "Bite Me" just like YOU did. Good for YOU!
It's a partner assigment and it's suckin' all of Joe's time. Joe can't even close the deal with Junior Partner more than once, twice a week. On the other hand, Joe recently met McLittle Babe-a-Licious. McLittle Babe-A-Licious is, as you would expect, not all that tall. Pretty Pretty Blue Eyes. Pretty Pretty Pieces Parts. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Chassis. Can't Kiss worth a damn if Joe's observatement the other night at "Ho Bar" are to be believed. Let Joe explain "Observatement."
In another time, and another place, Joe was SERIOUSLY after a Luscious Latin, and could NOT close the deal. Upon enquiry, Joe was told, in all seriousness, that before LusciousLatin would consent to Merge and Acquire, LL would have to "observate" Joe for a while. And there you are. Joe feels that more observatement is in order for McLittle, but Babe-A-Licious or NOT, McL needs to learn how to kiss without swallowing a Joe's face. Joe has a cute face, in a puppyish way, and if it were swallowed, coffee could not be ordered at Starbucks. What would Joe do? Joe fears to ask this question!
You're probably saying to yourself "Self, what in the world has this to do with legalness and thingies?" and the answer is not a bloody thing. Joe is simply sharing in order to bond with you. Do you feel bondy? If so, Joe's work here is done.
Back to the Partner thang. Joe has been busier than a cut rate hooker on the day after Thanksgiving. Everybody wants partners. Guess what Joe found out. Partners rule. Associates are right pains in the butt.
Partners are a dream. They aren't coy about the money they make. They don't play games about their jobs, their dreams, their ambitions, what they bill, PRECISELY what they make, and how they make it, or anything else. If they're interested, they say so, and they say why. If not, they still listen, and they ALWAYS return calls if their area of practice is even REMOTELY related to the area for which you're recruiting. Who knew? Joe really didn't. Joe has worked with GROUPS and a couple partners before, but not large numbers of partners before, and he always assumed that the partners he worked with before were just easy to work with because he knew them from before.
Nope! Virtually every partner has been a dream in comparison to associates, just in terms of calling to talk about opportunities. Accordingly, Joe has formulated the following Rules that Partners DO Follow, which is why They Are A Partner and YOU ARE NOT:
1. Partners Return the Recruiter's Call, because they're smart enough to know they don't know everything.
2. Partner Answer the Questions they're asked. If they have concerns about confidentiality, they ask ONE question to confirm it, make their decision, and stick with it.
3. Partners are not coy. They don't play word games because they don't have time.
4. Partners send the materials they say they'll send.
5. If a partner is interested they'll send materials, if they're not, they say so, and don't waste the recruiter's time.
6. Very often, if a partner finds out that the position is not right, they'll either refer YOU to a contact, or, more often, tell someone to call YOU.
7. Partners very often ask if you know of other positions for people that they know. They're plugged in, and they know how to use their network.
8. Partners treat Recruiters like key members of their career management team, and keep them involved, informed, and updated.
Joe is seriously considering dropping all associate recruiting given this recent experience. Failing that, Joe strongly recommends that Associates who are serious about finding newer, better jobs, start adopting the above principles, and integrating them into their professional business approach.
As always, Joe appreciates his readers and asks you to spread the word about the blog to everyone you know. Joe already knows that the Partners are doing so. They send him Eamails to let him know they've spread the word. Joe is BIG on partners.
LOVE Your Recruiter!!
JoeRecruiter-THE Legal Recruiter
It's a partner assigment and it's suckin' all of Joe's time. Joe can't even close the deal with Junior Partner more than once, twice a week. On the other hand, Joe recently met McLittle Babe-a-Licious. McLittle Babe-A-Licious is, as you would expect, not all that tall. Pretty Pretty Blue Eyes. Pretty Pretty Pieces Parts. Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Chassis. Can't Kiss worth a damn if Joe's observatement the other night at "Ho Bar" are to be believed. Let Joe explain "Observatement."
In another time, and another place, Joe was SERIOUSLY after a Luscious Latin, and could NOT close the deal. Upon enquiry, Joe was told, in all seriousness, that before LusciousLatin would consent to Merge and Acquire, LL would have to "observate" Joe for a while. And there you are. Joe feels that more observatement is in order for McLittle, but Babe-A-Licious or NOT, McL needs to learn how to kiss without swallowing a Joe's face. Joe has a cute face, in a puppyish way, and if it were swallowed, coffee could not be ordered at Starbucks. What would Joe do? Joe fears to ask this question!
You're probably saying to yourself "Self, what in the world has this to do with legalness and thingies?" and the answer is not a bloody thing. Joe is simply sharing in order to bond with you. Do you feel bondy? If so, Joe's work here is done.
Back to the Partner thang. Joe has been busier than a cut rate hooker on the day after Thanksgiving. Everybody wants partners. Guess what Joe found out. Partners rule. Associates are right pains in the butt.
Partners are a dream. They aren't coy about the money they make. They don't play games about their jobs, their dreams, their ambitions, what they bill, PRECISELY what they make, and how they make it, or anything else. If they're interested, they say so, and they say why. If not, they still listen, and they ALWAYS return calls if their area of practice is even REMOTELY related to the area for which you're recruiting. Who knew? Joe really didn't. Joe has worked with GROUPS and a couple partners before, but not large numbers of partners before, and he always assumed that the partners he worked with before were just easy to work with because he knew them from before.
Nope! Virtually every partner has been a dream in comparison to associates, just in terms of calling to talk about opportunities. Accordingly, Joe has formulated the following Rules that Partners DO Follow, which is why They Are A Partner and YOU ARE NOT:
1. Partners Return the Recruiter's Call, because they're smart enough to know they don't know everything.
2. Partner Answer the Questions they're asked. If they have concerns about confidentiality, they ask ONE question to confirm it, make their decision, and stick with it.
3. Partners are not coy. They don't play word games because they don't have time.
4. Partners send the materials they say they'll send.
5. If a partner is interested they'll send materials, if they're not, they say so, and don't waste the recruiter's time.
6. Very often, if a partner finds out that the position is not right, they'll either refer YOU to a contact, or, more often, tell someone to call YOU.
7. Partners very often ask if you know of other positions for people that they know. They're plugged in, and they know how to use their network.
8. Partners treat Recruiters like key members of their career management team, and keep them involved, informed, and updated.
Joe is seriously considering dropping all associate recruiting given this recent experience. Failing that, Joe strongly recommends that Associates who are serious about finding newer, better jobs, start adopting the above principles, and integrating them into their professional business approach.
As always, Joe appreciates his readers and asks you to spread the word about the blog to everyone you know. Joe already knows that the Partners are doing so. They send him Eamails to let him know they've spread the word. Joe is BIG on partners.
LOVE Your Recruiter!!
JoeRecruiter-THE Legal Recruiter
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