The Best Dancer at St. Bernard-ettes.

Ay, Mamelita! Has it actually been two weeks since JoeRecruiter put finger to key? Joe finds this almost impossible to believe. Joe apoogizes, and hopes you will forgive him. Work has taken over Joe's life. Have you ever had more work than you could actually DO? Joe has this problem now. They say success kills, and it's starting to kill Joe, although apparently not fast enough for some. What Joe means is that he has more assignments than he could POSSIBLY fill, even if he worked 24/7, which is SO not about to happen. But even if Joe did work 24/7 there aren't enough candidates that meet the Law Firm criteria, so why bother. And THAT is what is on Joe's mind.

Let Joe go back a ways, kay? It was Friday, and Joe was at dinner with Miss ChaCha DiGregoriJoe (yes, the Best Dancer at St. Bernard-ettes), and it was perfect. Not Miss ChaCha, mind you. . .Miss ChaCha is NEVER perfect. Miss ChaCha is always bad, which is why Joe likes to take her to Dinner. But she is NEVER perfect.

Ennyways, the Foie Gras was wonderful as was the Inniskillin Ice Wine, which Joe highly recommends as opposed to Chateau Y'Quem or some other Sauternes. Joe KNOWS this is a classic pairing, but, just TRY Ice Wine (or Eiswein, even better). You'll find that the comparatively higher acid cuts the richness of the Foie Gras very nicely, but still gives you the wonderful taste balance of a Sauternes. Where was Joe? Oh, yes, the Foie Gras was wonderful, the Duck, even better (Joe is fond of Duck. . .so much so that Duck and Foie Gras, at the same meal, didn't seem terribly wrong. . .on the other hand, there was also Beef Rossini, and the salad had Duck, slivered black truffles, and other nummies too. . .and it still didn't seem TOO over the top).

Now, you would think a meal like that would have almost anybody basking in WAVES of pleasure, and normally you would be right. But Joe was, I don't know, out of sorts for some reason, and it wasn't until the Port (Taylor 20-year Tawny) that Miss ChaCha said, in her warm purring voice "Yo, mister, snap out of it!" that Joe realized his mind was still on work, when it SHOULD have been on the spectacular dinner.

And Joe's mind was still on WORK because Joe had just had a little tiff with a VERY BAD Beagle, on one or another of them there message boards. Miss ChaCha made Joe ignore what had happened and concentrate on Dessert, and a good thing too, because it was a wonderful Coconut Cream Vacherin, with a Bittersweet Chocolate Ganache, accompanied by the TINIEST little Molten Chocolate Cake, Coconut Sorbet, and Coconut Syrup. It was amazing. So Joe put it out of his mind for the rest of dinner, but now feels he has to share it, with you.

And here it is: It's all well and good if you're a high-powered associate at a high-powered law firm, and bully for you, but don't think for a second that you know any more about what's happening in the recruiting office of your law firm than the average guy on the street, because you don't. And please, be a civilized beagle and don't foist that garbage off on unsuspecting bunnies, because they'll BELIEVE you, and they're the ones that are gonna get hurt, not you.

First of all, if you have a bad opinion of Recruiters, that's your right as a citizen, but don't for even a fraction of a second lump Joe in with anybody else, because Joe is, let's face it, a particularly unique character. The Bad Beagle questioned Joe's character, motives, background, experience, and commitment, all without even knowing the first thing about who Joe is or what Joe does, and then made claims regarding Law Firms that are flatly untrue, to the point that little beagle bunnies are probably all in a daze not knowing what they should do or when they should do it. SHAME on the Bad Beagle.

But how does this affect you, and why should you care? Good question, and thanks for asking. Let's look at a couple of facts, in no particular order, but, in terms of overall impact, we can prolly start with the raises for First Year associates.

The first announcement occurred probably on Jan 19, or thereabouts (Joe has an email dated 1/19 that announces a change, and nothing much before then), announcing a retro raise to Jan. 1, followed by another and so on, until, if you weren't paying attention, you'd think that EVERY law firm in the world, certainly in New York, and certainly EVERY BigLaw firm was pushing to $145K. But that's only half the story. Remember, SOME firms are dropping bonuses, SOME will institute a formula, and some will do some sort of disco combo, to the extent that, according to JoeMath, the actual raises add up to from about $3000-$7000 for MOST firms, and up to about $10K for virtually all of the rest. OF the reamining firms that claims stratospheric raises for first years, when you look at the comp formulas, they may be better OR worse than they were before.

The Second thing to remember is that this means ALL associate pay levels in the affected firms have to be recalculated and recalibrated, and, from what Joe hears, there MAY be concommitant increases in minimum billable hours. So, is this in fact a raise or not? Joe says, mostly, sort of. But the firms haven't all finished with their math, and anyone who tells you ANYTHING different isn't in touch with the firms on a regular basis. Even the few FEW firms with "published" associate pay plans advise that they're tentative.

The most amazing thing is that, like in years past, associates almost overwhelmingly say they'd rather have less pay and fewer required hours than MORE pay and MORE hours. So would the firms. Some senior partners have even said that they'd prefer to not have to mess with beginning pay at all and reduce the number of required billables for the first few years to give associates time to actually LEARN the art of lawyering in a firm before they go out for their "first kill." Nobody really believes you learn to be a lawyer just because you can bill 2366 hours your first year.

Third, associates still seem to believe that pay is some sort of negotiable issue, and that, if they simply apply, they'll be offered a job, and then, boy, they can negotiate a GREAT package that'll leave their fellows languishing in the dust of their victory. Sorry, but, in most firms, pay is NOT negotiable (at least not base pay), and usually bonuses are set too. You want a raise, you have to RAISE your value as a revenue producer by billing in excess of the minimum, if that option even exists, and, in some firms, because of the jacking up of minimum associate pay, the option to work, dare Joe say it. . ."Overtime" will be severely curtailed.

Fourth, and you know Joe wouldn't say this to anyone but you, but you can handle it: No matter how good YOUR opinion of your ability is, the offer, if you even get one, is going to be contingent on the offering firm's assessment of your ability, no matter how great a lawyer you think you are. For example, Joe is completely certain that Bad Beagle considers him/herself to be a GREAT lawyer, worth his/her weight in platinum. Perhaps. But Joe talked the issue over with some people at a number of BigLaw firms, where Bad Beagle claims to work (A BigLaw firm, not THE specific firm), and was told, before he could even ask, that an associate with that attitude would probably be either "slowed down" on the track, or invited to apply at another firm. Modesty and patience, and just generally being "nice to work with" still count at law firms, even BigLaw, so be careful of your attitude, and remember, you're a bunny until you get "promoted" by not being referred to as a bunny anymore, and it has a LOT to do with what the senior attorneys think of you, not what you think of yourself.

So, what does this mean? Is Joe a total sellout to the Law Firms? Oh, HELL no! But it does mean that Joe, like many people with MANY jobs, is responsible to both the Law Firms AND the associates, and he has to balance the reality of the situation with the "dreams" of the beagles, and sometimes that means "tough love."

So what do we do now? Keep listening, paying attention, and snuggling up to your recruiter. Firms are still hiring. They still want the best associates. Externals have the best associates (simple math. . .good attorneys are too busy to be futzing around on job boards, know what they want, and are prepared. . .they let recruiters do the work finding them a job whilst they go out and lawyer), and the Law Firms know that. It's simply a question of managing your priorities and making sure that you use resources that work FOR YOU, not resources that you WORK FOR.

To that end, and recognizing that not everybody has the same perspective, coupled with the fact that Joe is busier than a one-legged man at a butt-kickin' contest, Joe says make your choice. Either you believe Legal Recruiters are good or you don't.

If you do, find one, make sure there's a great fit, and take their advice. . .it's in their best interest to help you find the PERFECT job. In that way, everybody wins: The Law Firm, You, JoeRecruiter (or the other not-quite-as-luscious recruiter), and other lawyers, as well as clients, and, well, you get the idea. If you don't, strike out on your own, manage your own job search, and take responsibility for what happens. The choice is yours. . .just don't whine.

Meanwhile, Joe is negotiating with Miss ChaCha to plan another dinner. This time, Joe is hoping for a little less duck, and a LOT more attention to the dinner itself.

Love Your Recruiter!



JoeRecruiter